During the month of August, we will be bringing you Thursday Leadership Lesson: The Greatest Hits! We’ve been writing these for almost two years, and it’s really amazing to see the wealth of information that our zone leaders have pumped out. Today, we bring you Leadership is Lonely, written by Heather Zempel and first printed one year agon on August 31, 2006. This was the issue on my brain as we launched into Fall Semester last year, and I think the principles are good to pass along again.
Yesterday, I was talking to one of our longest-running NCC small group leaders, and he commented, “Leadership is lonely.”
That is a very true statement. Sometimes, the loneliest place to be is in a position of leadership. I blogged about it a little bit recently. There will be decisions you make that no one agrees with. There will be visions that burn wildly and deeply in your heart that others don’t understand. There will be passionate pleas to action that no one accepts. We’ve heard that phrase, “If you think you are leading, but no one is following, then you are just taking a walk,” and it scares us to take that first step out into leadership when we aren’t sure if anyone will follow us or not.
Leadership is lonely. And leadership is scary.
I know, I know…all of the zone leaders and team leaders are shaking their heads right now trying to figure out what the heck I am doing. We are about to launch a new semester, and I should be giving my big pep talk and pumping everyone up. I should be talking about how excited I am about the new National Community Geographic (** Editor’s Note: This is now the Discipleship Atlas!) and all of our new groups. I should be talking about all of the wins we’ve seen and how exciting it will be for our new leaders to get into the game and experience their own wins. And all of that stuff is true; I am very excited and hope that you are as well. But before you hit a home run, you have to stand at the plate all by yourself and face a ball flying at your face at 90+ mph.
Permission to speak frankly? I am almost quit being the small group coordinator at NCC a few years ago. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone that. 
There had been a series of difficult decisions, groups, leaders, etc.; and doing groups while juggling a full-time job was wearing me down. I distinctly remember sitting home one night when it hit me: “I am so lonely.” It was the first time in my life I could ever remember being lonely. It didn’t make sense. I was surrounded by encouraging and supportive zone leaders and church staff. I had lots of friends. But I hit that place that every leader will come to at some point– the crossroads of loneliness where leadership is tested.
On one hand, you make a decision to lead when you complete your application, attend Leadership 101, and submit your group information. But there is another decision to lead that comes later, is more important, and is found at the crossroads.
Why am I telling you all of this? First, to give you a warning and encouragement. It will happen, so don’t be shocked or scared. Second, it’s normal and it’s Biblical. Hanging naked on a cross between two thieves was not a leadership path that any of us would be willing to walk, but Jesus stood at the crossroads and took the lonely route. Jesus defines our call as “taking up our cross” and even warns that his call may involve hating those who are closest to us (Luke 14:26).
You will come to that crossroads of loneliness at some point. It may happen on the first night after you have prepared your lesson, set out the cookies and Kool-Aid, and no one shows up. It may happen half-way through the group when someone confesses a sin that you feel inadequate to handle. It may happen in a couple of semesters when you know the group needs to multiply but everyone gets angry that you even dare mention the idea. It may happen in two years after a leader that you have raised up falls apart.
Here are some tips for dealing with leadership loneliness when it hits.
- Lean on your team leaders and zone leaders. That’s why they are there.
- Lean on other small group leaders. That’s why we put you in zones. So you can share struggles and help carry one another’s burden.
- Make sure you are leading yourself well. Most of my lonely leadership times have occurred because I was trying to minister within my own strength. If you try to lead without God for too long, you are on the fast track to loneliness.
- Pray. Pray. Pray.
It’s going to be a great semester. I am super proud of all of you and can’t wait to see what God does in us and through us. It’s going to be fun. But if you come to that lonely place, let someone know!
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